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We just dealt with a problem pet
Our cat using the internet
Not a big deal, I say, “Hello?”
He cost me bucks, just so you know

I saw the dog wagging his tail
AGAIN got weird things in the mail
We got chew toys, milk bones and stuff
Those darn pets, we’ve just had enough

This prob’ly sounds strange, could be bad
Because of the trouble we had
Hmmm, just maybe, I smell a rat
Same problem we had with the cat

Things we don’t need, things we don’t use
I’ve got this, I’m looking for clues
My kids said, “Well, maybe it’s you.”
It’s NOT me… I thought and I knew

Where’s the cat? It took me so long
She’s sleeping like nothing is wrong
I looked at her and she just sat
Staring at me as if, “What’s that?”

I asked the mailman if he knew
I just bring what’s addressed to you
And then it became clear to see
The cat taught the dog, it wasn’t me


I'm kind of glad our pets don't speak the same language.

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